From: Chris Taylor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Date: Tue 26 Apr 2005 - 12:30:00 GMT
THEOLOGICAL ENGINEERING EXAM
[5 Questions, 60 Minutes]
You may use a calculator, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, and the Book
of Mormon. The speed of light is c. Show all work. For all problems,
assume a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D. No praying
during the exam.
1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each
an equal amount L0. Bob then accelerates to 0.9c. In Joe's rest frame,
how much does God now love Bob?
2. (20 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the
xy plane. Let Sue's soul be at (0,0,5) at t = 0 seconds, traveling at
exactly 5 ms-1 in the direction of the positive z axis. Everything is in
Cartesian coordinates bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational
Enlightenment attitude towards the Universe. At what time t will Sue be
saved? (Hint: Assume a point soul.)
3. (20 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time t. Cornelia, a saved
human weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing
jaws of an alligator at time t. What mass of meat will remain to the
alligator at time t+10 seconds?
4. Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His sin
level for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats 0.3 kg of pork, and
enjoys it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty
a. (10 pts.) What is Stan's sin level now?
b. (10 pts.) Stan is one of them Salt Lake City Mormons. He ain't so
damn smug now, is he?
5. (10 pts.) 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine undergo
transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many
Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
Hand in exam when done, and may God have mercy on your work.
Chris Taylor (email@example.com)
HUPO PSI: GPS -- psidev.sf.net
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