From: Van oost Kenneth (email@example.com)
Date: Sat 03 Jul 2004 - 14:15:37 GMT
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gene Doty" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
> A couple of points here: first, I didn't write the snippet you quote;
> second, since you know almost nothing of me or my life, you have no
> basis to assert that you are "more individualistic, more an individual"
> than I. And, anyway, is being "individual" a clear concept or a
> desirable goal?
> It's probably a good idea not to use "you" in this kind of generalized
> Well, what you say is all pretty abstract to me--I have a hard time
> relating to it on more than an intellectual level, and yet it seems very
> personal for you. As a father and grandfather, I have much different
> perceptions of parenting than I did as a child, young man, young father,
> and so on. What I do understand from your message is that you've had a
> difficult life, with a lot of turmoil, and have survived and even more
> than survived. I admire that a lot.
Sorry, my mistake, I thought you were the one though, but yes, I should
have ! Perhaps it was better to write, that I got the odd feeling ( if I
at people around me struggeling with relationships, with their identity and
their supposed place in this world) to be more ' me '_ in the sense that
Smail argues_ that people/ kids were raised with and within values/ ex-
pextations of their parents and their parents society/ culture.
Take religion for example, kids are getting raised within the religious
context of their parents... they have no choise. The result of such a
parential choise brings down conflict and possible psychological tur-
moil if the kid(s) aren't that keen to follow any gods commandments.
But yes, you are right to question the concept of individual/ individuality
as such_ and if I did hurt you in anyway in assertin' that I am ' more '
one than you, that wasn 't my intention though, but IMO, being an in-
dividual is indeed no clear concept, due to the questions raised by
Smail. If parents raise their children, in the assertion they do ( nature/
nurture remerber!) due to their own convictions/ values and expecta-
tions, the kid his/ her opinions/ ideas/ characters and beliefs aren 't
really theirs are they !?
It isn 't, it was never and will never be my intention to raise a question
of having pitty for me, please...I am old and wise enough to run my own
race, but thanks anyway, but my conviction still meets its own expec-
tations_ personal or not_ I do believe that due to some particular cir-
cumstances people walk such different ways and byways so that they
find a specific place for themselves_ where others and most IMO,
just (has to) follow and live their lives in common ways and on common,
known social/ cultural grounds with no hope of ever escaping the
raised demands of such concepts/ contexts; with no hope of ever
changing the world they live in and that due to the memetic concepts
which are part of themselves.
I got, IMO anyway, due to the death of my parents, the chance to walk
a complete and more personal, ' a more me ' path than others.
That you got different perceptions of being a father and grandfather
during the years, I don 't and will never doubt you have, but your
perceptions are drained with and within the concepts as such de-
manded by the society/ culture you live and were raised in.
I don 't question these assertions, I just argue that such concepts
aren 't yours, in the real sense, in the first place and that thus the
ways you raised your children follow historical social/ cultural
path with no hope of ever escaping them_ where IMO, I did
escape, I laid down ( I had to) my own tracks and just waited
where they' re heading, where others got a pretty good idea
where theirs are/ were leading to !
It is hard to come in terms with those ( mythical) ideal cultural/
social raised expectations where (grand)parents seem to be bound
to_ to forfill them results in more subtle and psychological violence
than we openly are willing to admit.
Self- convidence, the belief in oneself has been lost ever before one
could develop one....
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